Parenting an autistic kid can be overwhelming at times. What makes the biggest difference is having people who understand in your corner, like other parents who’ve been there.
That’s why I sat down with Victoria and Natalie: sisters, advocates, and co-hosts of The Autism Mums Podcast. We shared stories about burnout, community, and the relief of finding people who really get it.
In this post, I’m sharing some of the stories from our conversation — real experiences of parenting, advocacy, and finding support along the way.
Prefer to watch? Here’s the full interview with The Autism Mums:
Why Community Matters to ‘Autism Mums’
When my son was younger, I often felt like I was stumbling around in the dark, trying to piece together answers from what I overheard in therapists’ waiting rooms and playground conversations. I’d go home and Google whatever I’d picked up, hoping it would help.
Victoria and Natalie shared that this was part of their “why” for starting The Autism Mums Podcast. Both of their sons are autistic, and they quickly realized how lonely it can feel. Victoria summed it up:
“It can be quite a lonely journey trying to find your people.”
Along the way, they’d been helped by parents who were a step ahead — they would say, “Try this, it worked for us.”
Creating a podcast was their way of passing that support forward, so parents wouldn’t have to rely on chance encounters to find help.
For me, hearing their story brought back so many memories of moments when I desperately needed to know someone else understood. Finding that kind of community, whether it’s through a podcast, a support group, a group text with a few parents in the same boat, or even a single conversation with another parent who understands, is what makes our efforts less of a slog.
Sleeplessness, Food Struggles, and Other Everyday Autism Parenting Challenges
One theme that came up quickly in our conversation was burnout.
Autism parenting often means juggling therapies, appointments, school meetings, and the day-to-day emotional load. Natalie mentioned how overwhelming it felt when she was learning how to advocate for her autistic son:
“My daughter was a newborn at the time all this was going on, so I was really sleep deprived, and all of that on top of everything. I don’t know how I did it now. But we do. We muster it up.”
Lack of sleep, constant research, confusing phone calls and paperwork. Trying to hold everything together. It’s a recipe for exhaustion, even without a new baby.
Food struggles are another familiar challenge. Victoria told the story of her son’s years-long obsession with “angel cakes” — to the point where a supermarket once congratulated her family for buying more of them than anyone else in their town. I shared how my son would cycle through favorite foods, leaving me with a fridge full of yogurts he suddenly wouldn’t touch.
These stories may sound funny in hindsight, but in the moment they’re stressful, because we feel responsible for our children’s health. Our internal judgment is harsh. For parents facing something similar, just hearing “you’re not the only one” can be a relief. Conversations like this matter because they normalize what so many of us experience in private.
Autism Advocacy and Finding Your Voice
When we talked about advocacy, Victoria and Natalie shared how quickly parents are thrown into complicated systems. In the UK, that means navigating EHCPs (Education, Health and Care Plans), while in the U.S. it’s IEPs (Individualized Education Programs). Both are supposed to guarantee support, but they come with red tape and stress.
Victoria explained how discouraging it felt when her son’s plan came back recommending mainstream school, even though his attendance was only about 15% that year:
“He was just going in for lunchtimes, and sometimes he couldn’t even interact while he was there in the playground. But he just wanted to see his friends. And yet the educational psychologist came in and said mainstream.”
That mismatch between what parents know their child needs and what the system dictates can be crushing. Victoria shared that in her case, it meant preparing for a tribunal. Natalie added:
“It comes at the same time you’re just learning about autism itself… you’ve got the added layer of, how do I advocate? What is the legal side? How do I make sure everyone else is doing what they need to?”
These are the kinds of struggles many parents face silently, while also caring for their children day-to-day. Sharing them openly is a reminder that advocacy isn’t easy, but we’re not alone on the quest.
Stories That Give Parents Like Us Hope
Here’s the heart of the conversation: parents of autistic kids need to know they aren’t alone. Natalie put it simply:
“It can feel very lonely. I remember being told, seek out the other parents. Because they’re there, you just have to find them. And once you do start having those conversations with the parents that understand, you start building a community yourself.”
Victoria added:
“We just want to support as many people as possible. So, if there’s any questions, reach out to us. Any topics you want us to cover, let us know.”
That’s really what this interview was about — connection, stories, and the relief of finding people who get it.
And if you’ve ever felt isolated in this journey, I hope these stories remind you that you don’t have to do it on your own. There are communities, podcasts, and parents out there who understand, and we’re already walking alongside you.
Connect With The Autism Mums:
The Autism Mums on Substack
The Autism Mums Website and Podcast
Podcast: Using Somatic Awareness to Support Your Neurodivergent Child with Kate Lynch
A kinder future for our kids begins with kindness toward ourselves.
Thanks so much for having us on your show Kate!