I’m sharing my rambling thoughts and rabbit holes with you this week. Because it’s all I can muster. Ocean surfed at Rockaway Beach yesterday in the wind and rain, and my friend had a birthday party last night. I’m recovering from good things.
If you prefer edited thoughts, see most of my recent posts.
If you're raising an anxious kid, click here to get your ticket to the Anxiety SOS Summit now! Penny, the organizer, lives in an area hard hit by this hurricane. So it may be delayed, but it will happen. If you’re anxious yourself, or love someone anxious, this summit is not to be missed.
On a personal note, here are 3 highlights from my week:
Watched His Three Daughters on Netflix and felt both gutted and grateful.
Shared a maitake mushroom, arugula and parmesan salad with my dad. It was mouthwatering.
I'm anxiously awaiting the Anxiety SOS Summit, which may be the most exciting thing I'm involved in this month. Penny, the organizer, lives in an area hard hit by this hurricane. So it may be delayed, but it will happen.
Our next Mindful Parent Group Coaching will be October 17 at noon Eastern for all paid subscribers. I’d love to support you there. Have you joined our movement yet?
I haven’t yet shared my sadness with you over the death of Steve Silberman. If you haven’t read ‘Neurotribes’, it’s a thick but worthwhile book, and a good listen. There are historical themes of abuse that are hard to read for anyone who loves neurodivergent people, but I hope you agree that we must understand history to avoid repeating it. Since ableism is still alive and well, we have a lot to learn.
This morning I went down a rabbit hole that started with this obituary by Emily Willingham. I felt like I knew Steve after reading his book. Putting anything in print will date it, but luckily research and understanding keep moving forward. To me, his book’s value was in the stories, the desire to connect, and the respect he felt for autistic people.
“The enormous success of ‘NeuroTribes’ pushed its neurodiversity-positive themes into the minds of mainstream society, including clinics and labs, where these ideas countered some common premises of autism research.”
—Emily Willingham,
The legacy of Steve Silberman and his book, ‘NeuroTribes’
The obituary links out to several interviews and articles, hence the rabbit hole. This one in conversation with Maxfield Sparrow was enlightening and ate my morning. (Yes Ocean had a lot of screen time.)
“Several years ago I was looking for some help and was rejected by one agency, which said I was too high functioning and referred me to another agency. That second agency rejected me for being too low functioning. I concluded that function labels are what others use to try to control us and act as gatekeepers to the things we need to survive and thrive. Functioning labels are weapons used against us.”
—Maxfield Sparrow
Steve’s conclusion of the conversation is so spot on: “concepts like eugenics reassert themselves in every historical era… Resisting institutionalized violence requires perpetual vigilance.”
“Our existence subverts the social order because we are different in ways that make people angry… Our non-compliance is not intended to be rebellious. We simply do not comply with things that harm us… we are viewed as untamed and in need of straightening up… We are marginalized canaries in a social coal mine…”
—Maxfield Sparrow
That made me think of the double-empathy problem. Okay, now my brain is hurting…
I’m grateful for Silberman’s legacy, and so sad that he’s no longer with us. His contribution to cross-cultural understanding between neurodivergent and neurotypical people inspired how I write, parent, and advocate. Steve’s review of my (yet unpublished) book is one that I reread on repeat when I’m feeling low:
"This book is a godsend for parents who want to help their atypical kids blossom and thrive while also caring for themselves. Kate Lynch provides a desperately needed roadmap through challenging territory."
—Steve Silberman, author of NeuroTribes:
The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity
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If you signed up for the Anxiety SOS Summit, it may (or may not) be delayed because the host, Penny Williams, lives in Asheville NC where there’s currently no electricity, water, cell service, or a way out. Oh my! There’s an anxiety metaphor in there somewhere! So hang tight (or loose), and know it will be worth the wait.
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If you struggle to get big chunks of quiet or private time, but you long for intimate and personal parent coaching, Voxer Coaching works around your life. You can find a few minutes to send a Vox and then hide away again later to listen to or read a reply. It’s a pilot program, which is why it’s so reasonable right now. You will help me shape and improve the offering.
I, too was so sad to hear of Steve Silberman's passing. His book was really important to me and understanding a much larger and difficult history.