A live conversation with the visionary founder of Lonely Worm Farm and Extreme Kids & Crew, author of “Strange Beauty” and other books, and Substack creator of Wayward Utopias: Farm, Fiction & Friends: Eliza Factor.
The tour of the farm begins about 17 minutes in, and the goats appear 35 minutes in!
Following Felix: A Visit with Eliza Factor to a Farm Where Everyone Belongs
When Ocean was 3, and newly diagnosed with autism, we found Extreme Kids & Crew. It was a lifeline. I was overwhelmed with internalized ableism and isolation. Then we discovered this vibrant, welcoming space that wasn’t about therapy or fixing. It was founded on play and community - by Eliza Factor.
A space where everyone is welcome, but our kids are centered, Extreme Kids shaped our family’s culture and values, and a decade later I’m still deeply grateful.
So…
I was beyond thrilled to connect with Eliza and take a virtual tour of her newest project: Lonely Worm Farm, an inclusive, nature-immersive 29 acres in upstate New York that feels like the next evolution of her vision.
We talked about community, inclusion, caregiving, disability, and the radical magic of slowing down and listening—especially when words aren't your child’s language.
From Nonprofits to Novels to Goats
Eliza describes founding Extreme Kids & Crew out of a deep need—both for herself and for her son Felix, who has significant disabilities. Traditional environments, even the well-meaning ones, made Felix seem like a project.
“People were really nice, but it was like, ‘We’re going to include Felix!’—and that made everything feel performative.”
Instead, she envisioned "a place where you're not the only one." A sanctuary where families with disabled kids could simply be, without needing to explain or educate. A space like a gay bar, or an affinity group. “When you're not set aside as other, your whole body relaxes. You see a bigger world.”
Fast forward a decade or so:
Felix is now a young adult, and Eliza has followed his lead into a new chapter. Lonely Worm Farm was born from the same impulse that birthed Extreme Kids: to create a community around Felix's needs and gifts.
"He's my teacher. If he didn’t need so many people to live well, I wouldn’t have met half of these incredible humans.”
A Farm That Follows Felix and the Land
The tour of Lonely Worm Farm was filled with the hum of birds, the shimmer of a pond, and goats that peeked out shyly from the barn (smartly avoiding the summer heat). The farm is part accessible agricultural project, part art space, part sanctuary—and 100% community-centered.
Eliza’s enthusiasm is contagious as she walks us through herbal beds, wheelchair-accessible raspberry paths, pottery made from clay harvested on site, and teacups for tea grown and dried on the land. “It’s a full sensory, full-circle experience,” she says.
Accessibility here isn’t just ramps and handrails—though they do have those. It’s about mindset.
“You can’t predict everything. But if you cultivate flexibility, curiosity, and care, then when someone gets tired or needs something different, it’s not a crisis. It’s just community.”
Listening Without Words
Felix is nonspeaking, but that hasn’t stopped him from becoming a profound teacher in Eliza’s life.
“You learn to read mood, skin tone, the sparkle or dullness in the eyes. That intuitive communication becomes primary.”
It’s not just Felix she listens to this way. Living and communicating with him has reawakened Eliza’s empathy in all directions. She recalls watching a squirrel leap through trees one day and feeling her core muscles mirror the jump. “It was like being inside the squirrel for a moment,” she laughs. “It’s not telepathy, but it’s a glimpse. A clue. A kind of communal thinking.”
This way of relating—through presence rather than performance—has become the farm’s guiding ethos.
Creating Spaces Where We’re Centered
While Lonely Worm Farm is open to all, it’s built with the understanding that families like ours—those navigating disability—rarely find spaces truly centered on our needs. That’s what makes this place so special.
Families from Extreme Kids recently visited the farm, and Eliza lit up describing their joy: petting goats, picking berries, lounging in the shade.
“It’s like my baby came home from college. The organization is thriving under new leadership, and the spirit of community lives on.”
The phrase “a space to be”—the tagline for Extreme Kids & Crew—rings true here too.
Whether through a mug formed by hand, a path designed for all bodies, or the loving way Eliza calls her goats outside like a mom nagging her kids to get off their screens, you feel the invitation: You belong here.
Want to Visit?
Lonely Worm Farm is currently offering programming through partner organizations, and welcomes visitors, especially families with disabled members.
To arrange a visit, connect with Eliza via Wayward Utopias: Farm, Fiction & Friends where she shares farm updates, writing projects, and lots (and lots) of goat pictures.
If you’re in the area soon, the raspberries will be popping. As Eliza says, “It’s not usually considered a wheelchair-friendly activity—but it should be.”
Because when everyone belongs, everything changes.
