What Happened When I Followed My 4 Year Old Son’s School Bus

What I learned about letting go when my neurodivergent son started kindergarten.

Photo by Zoshua Colah on Unsplash

When Ocean started kindergarten at a Brooklyn Public School, I wasn’t clear about the transition from his mini bus to the classroom. Something didn’t feel right.

So I followed the bus to school.

I walked into the cafeteria with a little distrust and a lot of questions.

It was loud and crowded. I saw him sitting there, a little dazed, a little jostled. I thought, “How could tiny Ocean possibly navigate this place?”

Some older girls asked me if I was Ocean’s mom.

“He’s so cute!” they crooned.

Then I heard from the lunch lady. She always helped him steady his breakfast tray and find his seat.

The teacher’s aide told me she picked him up from the cafeteria and brought him to the classroom with the other bus kids. And then she told me something I wasn’t expecting:

Ocean and his new best friend walked from the bus into the school holding hands.

I started to cry ugly tears.

He had never had a best friend before.

That’s when I realized I had to let go.

(That’s also when the security guard kicked me out.)

There are scary things about our kids going to school. And there are wonderful things. Many of them we’ll never see.

I had to take a breath and trust this system that seemed too big for my tiny, neurodivergent kid.

Actually, a lot of breaths.

That doesn’t mean I regret being involved, or even vigilant. With very few exceptions, everyone at school has our children’s best interests at heart—and the best interests of every other kid, too.

Advocate for your child, but know this:

You won’t be able to prevent every difficult moment.

Things will go wrong, no matter how prepared you are, but…

Things will go right, too!

A kinder future for our kids begins with kindness toward ourselves.

I’d love to see your Back To School pics in the chat here!