When my ADHD daughter was 15, she ran away after a traumatic incident. She was found hours later and safe. What I learned was that she ran because she did not feel emotionally safe at home enough to share her pain and her needs. I had to learn many of the strategies you've listed to become the calm she needed in her storms, proving its never too late to try.
No, it's never too late. I imagine if one of my parents truly saw me, put themselves in my shoes, empathized with the fear I felt as a little girl, and apologized today.
How much would that mean?
They just saw me as easy to parent.
My parents didn't have anyone to tell them that parenting's not about you and your ego.
Great article. I always went into IEP meetings with prayer first, to ask for the Holy Spirit to speak through me and then I got real present to what was at stake--my daughter's well being. I had to adopt to becoming my daughter's fierce advocate because no one else was going to do it, I discovered, though her teachers were a Godsend generally in accepting and guiding her. But ultimately, the responsibility fell on myself and my wife to take charge where our daughter was concerned. I have to admit I didn't have a lot of expectation about the IEP process earlier on because my daughter did show much progress until we got her off Adderall and on to essential oils and supplements and off ABA services. The IEP process became more productive later on but thanks in large part by my daughter's own maturity and hard work. A concern is, going forward, IEPs are paid by Medicaid in 38 states in the US and cuts to Medicaid may do away from the support for IEPs as most public schools get their IEP costs reimbursed by Medicaid. The upcoming cuts to budges for DOE, Medicaid and the H1 Visa cost mushrooming to 100K are all going to hurt kids with special needs. I'm part of a consortium to help, through AI, to empower teachers and students alike, especially special needs student, to do more with less using supervised, ethical AI. So help is coming....
When my ADHD daughter was 15, she ran away after a traumatic incident. She was found hours later and safe. What I learned was that she ran because she did not feel emotionally safe at home enough to share her pain and her needs. I had to learn many of the strategies you've listed to become the calm she needed in her storms, proving its never too late to try.
That sounds so scary Cindy. For both of you.
No, it's never too late. I imagine if one of my parents truly saw me, put themselves in my shoes, empathized with the fear I felt as a little girl, and apologized today.
How much would that mean?
They just saw me as easy to parent.
My parents didn't have anyone to tell them that parenting's not about you and your ego.
They had Dr. Spock and bourbon. ;)
Sounds like a conversation I just had last night with my grade school friend! :)
Great to be reminded of some of these useful techniques you shared Kate. Feel I may need them this week! - Victoria
I use them daily 🥰
Great article. I always went into IEP meetings with prayer first, to ask for the Holy Spirit to speak through me and then I got real present to what was at stake--my daughter's well being. I had to adopt to becoming my daughter's fierce advocate because no one else was going to do it, I discovered, though her teachers were a Godsend generally in accepting and guiding her. But ultimately, the responsibility fell on myself and my wife to take charge where our daughter was concerned. I have to admit I didn't have a lot of expectation about the IEP process earlier on because my daughter did show much progress until we got her off Adderall and on to essential oils and supplements and off ABA services. The IEP process became more productive later on but thanks in large part by my daughter's own maturity and hard work. A concern is, going forward, IEPs are paid by Medicaid in 38 states in the US and cuts to Medicaid may do away from the support for IEPs as most public schools get their IEP costs reimbursed by Medicaid. The upcoming cuts to budges for DOE, Medicaid and the H1 Visa cost mushrooming to 100K are all going to hurt kids with special needs. I'm part of a consortium to help, through AI, to empower teachers and students alike, especially special needs student, to do more with less using supervised, ethical AI. So help is coming....